


Lost and Found

by heeroluva



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 16:28:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/624211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heeroluva/pseuds/heeroluva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finding out Bucky was alive was just the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jain/gifts).



> This is actually the first part of a much longer story that I ran out of time to finish. However, this can stand on it's own. It will eventually be turned into a series. All mistakes are mine. Feel free to let me know if you see any. As always feedback is appreciated.

“Bucky is alive.”

The rest of Natasha’s words were far away, barely filtering Steve through awareness after he was hit by that bombshell. The words kept pounding through his head. Bucky was alive and SHIELD had known the entire time, known who he was to Steve. 

And they hadn’t said a word.

“He’s been away on a mission,” Natasha said. “He was under radio silence.”

_What kind of mission lasts for over a year?_ Steve wanted to shout at Natasha. But Steve knew, he knew what SHEILD was about, the kind of “missions” that they did.

Steve was never privy to the details. “It’s above your pay grade” seemed to be the favored phrase these days, but he knew enough. It made his heart ache because it was Bucky, who would always be the innocent kid with a cocky sense of humor that he grew up with. Even during the war, after what they did, Steve never lost that impression of him. At Natasha’s next words, Steve silenced the millions of questions that he had (like what her connection to Bucky was) because none of them mattered right now.

“Something went wrong, and Bucky was comprised. We don’t have any details beyond that, but there are no plans for rescue.”

Steve’s gut tightened as he realized that SHIELD didn’t want to be connected to whatever Bucky had been involved in and was cutting their losses. Natasha was only telling him this for one reason. “What do you need me to do?”

Natasha’s smile told Steve that he’d been right; this had been the plan all along.

 

At one point, long ago there had been a twinge of guilt with every human life Steven had taken. That was gone now, and Steve wondered if he should be worried that he felt nothing at the deaths of these people who had aided in the torture of Bucky. Stealth had never been Steve strong point; he was more of a front lines kind of guy, but he could make do when needed, following Natasha’s lead. 

It was Natasha who got to Bucky first and it was what she didn’t say that worried Steve. He quickly found out that he’d been right to worry. 

Steve had seen a lot of gruesomeness in the war, fighting against the Nazis and Hydra, but he’d never seen a man in Bucky’s condition who was still alive, hadn’t wanted to imagine that a person in his condition could live through the treatment that had put him there. If not for the steady rise and fall of Bucky’s chest and the rhythmic rise of the silenced heart monitor attached to him, Steve would have believed him dead.

The damage was bad to say the least. Steve remembered that at one point Natasha had mentioned Bucky had lost an arm, and he had been replaced by a mechanical one. Steve had imagine something like Tony’s sleek Iron Man suit, not this mix of wires and tubing that looking so alien attached to a human body. But the most shocking part was the damage to it, to where it was attached to Bucky’s body, almost as though he’d been hung from it and gravity was left to do its work. Steve wasn’t a doctor or an engineer, but he couldn’t imagine how anything there was salvageable. 

Steve was loathed to touch Bucky, afraid he’d cause more damage. There were place that oozed where the skin and tissue had been flayed away, exposing fat and muscle fibers. And Bucky’s human hand had Steve cringing, the way the fingers were swollen and twisted at unnatural angles. In his time there would have been no fix for that. But Steve prayed that maybe today they have the knowhow and technology to fix that, to save Bucky’s hand. 

Steve watched helpless as Natasha went through the computers around him, downloading everything, skimming the files on Bucky, and uploading a virus after. He felt a momentary surge of anger that she didn’t seem more concerned with Bucky’s condition, but Steve knew that this needed to be done, that they needed to find it what had been done to Bucky and what if anything he’d told his captors. 

And then finally when she was done and turned back to him, Steve wondered if there were really tears in her eyes when she glanced at Bucky or if he was imagining things. Natasha made quick work of the wires connected to Bucky, unplugging everything before gesturing towards Steve. There was no place that he could touch that wouldn’t hurt Bucky in some way, but Steve tried his best as he lifted him over his shoulders. 

Instead of going back to SHIELD as Steve had expected, they ended up at Stark Tower of all places. The medical team that was waiting for them was unexpected, as was the site of Tony and Bruce in scrubs. Doctors and engineers, it was almost laughable because they shouldn’t have worked together, yet here they were. 

Steve watched through the window of the impromptu medical wing that had obviously been recently set up just for this, Natasha at his side. Steve wasn’t really thinking when he reached down to grab her hand, and he half expected her to pull away. Instead, she squeezed his hand tightly, but didn’t look away from Bucky. It went on for hours, for far too long in Steve’s opinion before Tony and a man who introduced himself as Doctor Mathis exited the room. 

Steve couldn’t follow most of the medical or technical words that came from their mouths, and interrupted them, to tired and worn down to care about manners, “Will he live?”

Tony and the Doctor exchanged a glance, and Steve’s stomach dropped. 

“We give him a thirty percent chance right now. If he survives the next twenty four hours, that doubles. The risk for infection is high, and that could complicate things.”

Steve nodded, having seen his fair share of infected wounds on the battlefield. Steve looked at Bucky, connected to far too many wires and tubes trailing to dozens of machines. The blanket on his right side appeared strangely empty without an arm there. Steve had been right in thinking that there was no salvaging it, had heard them arguing about it, the pros and cons of just leaving it attached and trying to fix the damage around it. 

“And what of his hand? Hands?” Steve asked.

“The damage to his left hand is considerable, and while we did what we could today, he will likely require multiple surgeries. Physical therapy will be a must, though it is unlikely he will ever regain full use of it again. His other…” Doctor Mathis paused a moment before saying, “hand… Some of the best medical and scientific minds in the world are in the room behind me, but we’re unsure if attempted to attach a new arm is a wise course of action. Mr. Barnes has lost a large portion of bone in the area, making us question where and how it could be attached. The damage to his nerves in the area is significant, and we’re unsure of permanent damage. However, Mr. Stark seems adamant about trying.”

The corner of Steve’s mouth curled up slightly because of course Tony did. Steve nodded again because truly it was better than he expected. “Thank you, Doctor. Tony,” Steve said addressing both of them. “Can we see him now?” 

Tony glanced down, seeing Steve’s clasped with Natasha’s and for once seemed to decide that censoring himself was a good idea.

“For a short time it should be okay. Try talking to him. There’s no definitive proof that people can hear you, but it doesn’t hurt,” Doctor Mathis said as he held the door open for them.

Standing at Bucky’s bedside was strange. Steve had seen him sick before, but never like this, not even after Hydra had captured him. Bucky had always been larger than life, so full of energy. This wasn’t the Bucky he knew. Steve hadn’t realized he was crying, not until Natasha’s arm wrapped around him. He’d never had a chance to properly mourn Bucky, and he didn’t want to have to do it now that he’d found that Bucky was alive. 

“I’ll kill them,” Steve suddenly declared. There were people that had done this to Bucky who were still out there.

“Steve, no,” Natasha said, hand rising to Steve’s face. “That’s not a road you want to go down.”

“You’ll do it yourself.”

Natasha shrugged. “I already have blood on my hands. Revenge won’t make you feel any better, won’t fix anything.”

Steve shook his head. “Let me be the judge of that.” Steve reached down brushing Bucky’s fringe back from his eyes. “Remember what you used to tell me when we were kids and I sick? ‘Get well, or I’ll kick your ass,’ you’d say. Well now, I’m saying it to you.” He swallowed thickly. “Just get well, please.” 

Natasha’s hand slid into Steve’s again, giving it a squeeze. “He will. Just watch. He’s a fighter.”

Steve gave a wet laugh. “Yes, he got that from me. Saving me because I never knew when to back down. Looks like it was my turn to save him.” It didn’t matter how long it took, didn’t matter what he had to do, Steve would be there for Bucky, and Steve had a feeling that Natasha would be too.


End file.
